Can you love more than one baby?

I remember wondering before my second birth how I could possibly love a second child as much as I love my first child. All of my heart loved my first child “F”; surely there was no space to love another child. Of course, almost every mother thinks like this until they meet their next child. In my case my love for my second child “T” was instant, total but different, in part because this time around I had half an idea what I was doing.

We’re some years along the parenting path now. I love my children completely and with all of my heart but still I think I love them differently. Today I chatted with my husband about it and the nearest I could come to explaining it is that the love I feel for each of them is a different shape. My love for “F” is a round shape. “F” has the makings of a fine young lady. She is thoughtful, caring and witty; she makes me smile. Meanwhile, “T” is a bit more of a challenge but ever so cheeky and surprisingly thoughtful. The love I feel for him is more of a yearning and longing; it’s a sharper shape.

I work with a lot of expectant parents and I have to admit I envy the experience they have ahead of them of meeting their baby for the first time – gosh, if you could bottle that experience you’d make a fortune. One of my HypnoBirthing dads recently said that he could see the happiness in my face whenever I talked about meeting one’s newborn – and he was totally right.

So, are you a second time around mum worrying about how you can love a second child equally – how do you think it will work out for you?  Are you a mum of several children? Do you love your children in the same way or is there a discernible difference – is it a different shape or is there perhaps another way you would describe it? I’d love to know what others think on this topic.

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2 thoughts on “Can you love more than one baby?

  1. I remember when I was pregnant with my second child, and wondering the same thing, whether I would have enough love left to give to the second one. Someone said to me that it isn’t an allocation of love that you have available to give to each person you love, it’s more like a big pool of love that you and everyone you care about swims in together, so it’s the same love being shared and there’s plenty for everyone! That made sense to me, and took away the worry.

    I know what you mean about the different feelings you can have for each child though, but for me, I don’t feel it’s a different kind of love, I feel like the love is the same, but it is sprinkled with other feelings and emotions in varying amounts that affects how I feel about each one.

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